A bit of Personal Writing, with a bit of Teenage Drama, with a hint of Love and a touch of Hate, makes for a great Monologue!

Honestly I've been having a lot of difficulty coming up with an idea for this blog entry (I know, that's been the case very often lately) but this time I've been seriously stumped! I'm supposed to write an entry about a book I've read this semester, and honestly, I've analyzed and talked about ENOUGH books for a while, so I decided to leave that entry for last. For this entry I've decided to post a monologue I wrote, for a couple of reasons; one, I enjoyed writing the monologue because even though it was never graded and I never handed it in and got a good grade on it, I still got a lot of positive feedback from my peers that read it, second, I really like theater and I think it's a good idea to expose some of my work out in the World Wide Web.

Of course, for you guys (the readers) to understand first you must know the background or context behind  the monologue. The current setting is in Paris, France. Yet the character saying the monologue is from California. Her name is Lisa Dobson and she is in her early twenties. Her french boyfriend Chris died almost two years ago; this caused a great emotional depression on Lisa. To solve her problems on the matter of moving on and forgetting about Chris, Lisa enrolls on a foreign exchange student program that allows her to go to France for a year. In France she hopes to learn more about Chris' family and his background, in hopes that someone might listen to her story and relate with it since Chris and his family left France so abruptly. She hopes she can meet someone who also relates with the loss of Chris. During her time in France Lisa gets a job in a public library. In the library she meets a french man who is fluent in english and finds Lisa quite attractive; thus he asks Lisa out several times -- Lisa always denies the invitation -- Eventually the man gives up and as their amount of interactions lower she becomes very fond of the man. So fond that by the time the monologue takes place Lisa admits that she might be in love with him. Well that's the background information and I hope you like it!

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I don’t understand my feelings right now. Every time I see him I just feel a cloud filling up my mind, it’s as if a force within me is taking over, a force which I don’t know, and I’m not aware I had. Yet the way I feel about him, it’s a feeling that to most people is unique, but I guess I’m lucky, I got the chance to have this feeling twice. First with Chris and now with this strange man, but then again, that’s not good, is it? No, it can’t be good. How could it possibly be good to be in love twice, love can only bring sadness, anger and an infinite amount of pain, yet, Chris and this man, have been the best thing that has ever happened me. I can’t believe I’m really admitting it, but I love this man, the way he reads that book, it’s like he’s living the story, I can only imagine how passionate he must be in real life. But passion at times only disrupts determination; I know that’s happened to me ever since I got to France, my love towards Chris is still basically intact, yet he’s been dead for almost two years now. Why? Why do I feel like this? Why can’t I just move on? It must be easy, mustn’t it? No, I guess it isn’t. If only that tenant could have let me seen the house when I first met him. Then maybe I would have done some progress, maybe I would have been able to tell him what happened to Chris, but then again, he probably wouldn’t care. Nobody does. Chris left France years ago, most of the people his parents knew don’t care about him anymore. But I can’t blame them, can I? I guess I can’t, because the way that Chris and his family left France was so rude. This country and all of Chris’ friends had been so nice to them, they ultimately made Chris’ dad the success that he is right now. Without all that power and money, Chris’ family could have never afford to move to America and establish themselves the way they did. So again, why would anybody care anymore? Anybody that knew Chris and his family probably don’t want to know anything about him. And the people that didn’t even know him will have even less reason why to listen to my story, to Chris’ story and to the way he was taken from me. Life is just not fair sometimes, life doesn’t care about people, life only cares about itself, if life were good then Chris would be alive, and I wouldn’t be feeling so miserable. Plus my misery is only amplified by my feelings towards this guy, this strange guy, this person that I know so little about, yet I feel like I’ve known him enough to fall in love with him. Of course loving him wouldn’t be hard, he already asked me out several times, but I don’t know, today is too important of a day to mess it up with “love.” Because love is evil, love stands for the past, present and future tense of all pain that a human being will ever feel. But why? Love is supposed to be butterflies in your stomach and wanting to be with someone so much, that you wish you could tell them you love them a thousand times, and still wanting to love them more.